How Peer Mentoring Helped My School

One of the phrases that guides my decisions in life is, “Be for someone what you wish you had had when you were younger.” I always wanted an older sister, or at least an older student at my school who would treat me like a younger sister. What I didn’t realize I wanted was a peer mentoring program. When I accepted the school counseling position at my school, I realized the students at my school could use the same thing I had always wanted, a peer mentor who would visit with them, help them with homework, cheer them on, and provide general encouragement.

This venture has not been easy to get going, but watching my big dream play out has been beyond the blood, sweat, and tears it took to get it going. When I started this project, I scoured the internet for a how-to guide on the steps to get something like this going, but I couldn’t find exactly what I needed. So once again, I am using my life motto, “Be for someone what you wish you had had when you were younger, ” to provide YOU with the list I wish I had had when I started my mentor program.

Find a Peer Mentor Leader at a Neighboring School

Since I am at an elementary school, I needed to find someone at the high school level who wanted a mentoring program to happen as much as I did.  Initially, I reached out to someone who I thought would help me, but I got a reply saying, “I am too busy to help with something like this.”  This paralyzed me.  Maybe I took it a little too personally.  I also didn’t want it to seem like I was going behind that staff member’s back if I found someone else to help me with this program.  I regret now that I let a whole year of students miss out on a mentor due to my paralysis. The next year I reached out to the new Key Club sponsor at the high school.  She loved the idea. Would you believe 98% of the high school students that attended that meeting signed up?!

Create a Peer Mentoring Job Description

I have learned a lot by having the students fill this out. First, I wanted to know why the high school students wanted to participate in this program. I also wanted to know what ideas they had for the mentor program. I asked for a parent signature and 3 references. One of the high school girls put as her why, “I was in and out of foster homes when I was younger. I finally found a forever family who has shown me love. I would love to help any student who may be in a similar situation.”

Um…. Wow. I get chills just thinking about the moment I read that for the first time. Because guess what… I have a student that would be a perfect match for her. This high school student will be able to make a personal connection with my elementary student and show her that she made it through and is on the other side of her unimaginable situation. I can provide coping skills for my student, but this is so much more meaningful.
The application provided me with great information.

Ask for Help

You need the elementary teachers to buy in to this program. The elementary students are going to be pulled out of class or specials for around 30 minutes. You need the teachers to see that there is value in what you’re doing.
Plus, they are on the frontline with these students. We rely on their knowledge of home situations, attendance patterns, and general student behavior. I create a google form to have teachers nominate students. Don’t forget to include special area teachers like P.E., art, music, and special ed teachers. In some cases you may want to ask the secretary for input, too.

Get Parent Permission

Let’s consider this a sub-section of the previous paragraph. It kind of counts as getting buy-in. I send home a parent permission form with the students who were nominated by their teachers. Parents have called wanting more information, but just tell them that the high school student mentor will be an extra person at school who cares about their child. I explain that the high school student will eat lunch with their child or help with homework, play games, etc. No parent that I have talked to has ever refused this program.

Meet With Your Peer Mentoring Leader Counterpart

Please learn from my mistakes: I haven’t done this, but this year I realized that I should have been doing this. I only know my elementary students. In order to pair the students I have been relying on my husband’s (limited) knowledge of all the high school students and the information that they put on their application (he teaches at the high school). I should meet with the high school club sponsor so that she can give me needed background information on her students, and together we can match the mentors and mentees based on our shared knowledge. I do stay in communication with the high school club sponsor throughout the year to let her know if I have anyone who hasn’t visited in awhile, or if anyone quits.

Provide Ideas for Peer Mentoring Activities

I am fortunate enough to have an office and a classroom. The mentors use my classroom if they want. I have games, play dough, books, and art materials in both my office and my classroom. I let the mentors know that they are welcome to use my materials. If something is off limits, let them know that, too. I also print a Get to Know You activity sheet and put them in a folder outside my office for the mentors to use to guide that first meeting. The first meeting could be awkward, so I believe this helps as they get to know each other.

Bonus Tips:

Provide Information

This is the most tedious part of the peer mentoring program for me. I make a card for each mentor that has the student’s name, picture, grade, teacher’s name, lunch time, snack time, and special (art, music, library, etc.) time. I print these on cardstock, laminate them, and then distribute them to the high school students.

Be Prepared for Changes

I have had high school students who never showed up to meet with their elementary student. I have also had high school students who quit halfway through the year. This is a tough situation, especially when your elementary student finds you in the hallway and says, “When is my Bronco Buddy going to come visit me? It has been such a long time.” Ugggh, my heart. I try not to convince the high school students to stay if they have made up their mind to quit.

In fact, recently one of the high school girls came and said, “I need another information card for my Bronco Buddy.” When I checked to see who her buddy is, her buddy had withdrawn months ago. That told me she hadn’t been to visit her buddy at all. I asked her if she would like another one since hers had moved. She said sure. So while I was looking for another elementary student for her, her friend said, “I can’t believe you didn’t realize your buddy had moved!” She said, “I’m only doing this because my mom made me. I don’t even want to do this.”
Whoa.
So I said, “Are you sure you want another elementary student?” She said no she’d rather not do this program. That stung, BUT it’s not a total loss! Her friend said, “I would like one!”
So be ready for people to quit.

Peer Mentoring Will Change You

The last piece of advice I have for you is to be ready for your heart to change. I had hopes that this peer mentoring program would work, but I had no idea how successful it would be. My elementary school does an awards assembly each month. Last December I called each high school mentor if their elementary student was receiving an award. I assured them that there was no pressure, but they were invited to be there if they wanted to come. Honestly, I didn’t expect anyone to show up since the high school finished their exams and our awards day would have been a day off for the high school students.

Would you believe every single one of those high school students gave up their day to sleep in so that they could come cheer on their elementary student at the awards assembly?! I’m a crier anyway, but when I saw those high school boys stand to their feet and cheer at the top of their lungs when their little buddy went out to accept an award, I was a blubbering mess. Some of the high school students brought flowers and gifts for the elementary students to say congratulations. And at the end of the assembly, parents across the gym were taking pictures of their child with their high school mentor.

My Favorite Peer Mentoring Success Story

My favorite story comes from a high school student that I was unsure about originally. I had asked my husband for his opinion about a student we’ll call *John. He made a face and said, “Ehh. He’s not too dependable. I don’t think he’ll be consistent.” I gave him a student anyway. Y’all. John is, to date, THE MOST CONSISTENT mentor I have seen through this program. He visited his Bronco Buddy at least twice a week. What blew my mind the most was when he came into my office and said, “I’d like to give my Bronco Buddy my Playstation.” I was astounded. He continued, “I don’t have time for it as much anymore, and he had put it on his list as something he would like to have. I have one, and I would love to give it to him.”

I was shocked. After I called his mother and the elementary student’s mother just to make sure everyone was ok with this transaction, he handed over his Playstation. I am not sure who had more joy that day, the high school student or my elementary student.

I can’t wait to hear your success stories as you launch your own mentor program!